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I knew that! There were two men who went out to eat together They ordered fish So on the table the[db:cate]
英语幽默故事小短文_英语幽默短文带翻译

I knew that!

There were two men who went out to eat together. They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish. Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there was one small, and one big. The first man just took the big one for himself without asking and feeling
ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn"t know what to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said," If it were me," I would have taken the smaller onefirst." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That"s why I took the big one."

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That"s too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I"d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,发生了什么事?

“一个男孩咬了我一口,伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,伊凡说。他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,妈妈骄傲地说。再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?

“她是个卖糖果的。

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning of the word "Drunk", dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there"s only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:爸爸,字是什么意思?“唔,孩子,父亲回答说,你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。“可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,那儿只有一个警察呀!

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest"s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?“在捕鼠夹上,先生。那小男孩说。

英语小笑话

上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you

know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著

, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的

一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是

A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟

能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.

Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put his notice on his door: "Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today."

A student, after reading the notice, rubbed out the "c".

Later Professor Laurie came along, and entering into the spirit of the joke, rubbed out the "l".

班和笨驴

格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知:劳里教授今天不见他的班级。

一个学生读了通知后,擦掉了字母“c”(lass:姑娘)

后来劳里教授来了,也想开开玩笑,他擦掉了字母“l”(ass:笨驴)

Keys? Kiss?

A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States. After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the kays." The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn"t heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the kays." The Italian shrugged his shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher"s neck and kissed him on both cheeks.

钥匙还是接吻

我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后,他请全班同学给他挑出尺子,书本,钢笔等。课进行得井然有序,学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣,也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生,我的朋友说:给我钥匙。那人看起来非常吃惊,也有点手足无措。看到这种情况,我的朋友想是他没有听清楚,于是又重复了一遍:给我钥匙。那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着,他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。

Danny: I can"t solve this problem.

Teacher:What?Any five-year-old could solve it.

Danny:That"s why I can"t.I"m ten.

英语幽默故事小短文_英语幽默短文带翻译

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