【简单的英语笑话带翻译】英语笑话最短的最简单的还要会读

英语笑话最短的最简单的还要会读

　　篇一：超简短的5个英文笑话
　　超简短的5个英文笑话 1.
　　Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. 老师：谁能回到我下一个问题，谁就可以回家了。
　　One boy throws his bag out the window.
　　一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。
　　Teacher: who just threw that?!
　　老师：谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?
　　Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
　　男孩：我!我现在要回家了。
　　2.
　　What dog can jump higher than a building?
　　什么狗比大楼跳的还高?
　　Anydog, buildings can"t jump!
　　任何一只狗，大楼又跳不起来。
　　3.
　　What has a head, a tail, and no body?
　　什么有头、有尾，但是没有身体?
　　A coin!
　　硬币。
　　4.
　　What has one eye but cannot see?
　　什么有一只眼睛，却看不见?
　　A needle.
　　针。
　　5.
　　Wife: "How would you describe me?"
　　妻子：你会怎么形容我呢?
　　Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
　　丈夫：ABCDEFGHIJK.
　　Wife: "What does that mean?"
　　妻子：那是什么意思?
　　Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
　　丈夫：迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
　　Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
　　妻子：哇，谢谢，但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
　　Husband: "I"m just kidding!"
　　丈夫：开个玩笑!
　　篇二：英语短笑话
　　I"ve Just Bitten My Tongue
　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
　　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
　　"Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue! "
　　我刚咬破自己的舌头
　　“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
　　“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
　　“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
　　Nest and Hair
　　My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
　　"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
　　"I didn"t see the bird, ma" am, only the nest," replied the child.
　　"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
　　"Well, ma"am, it just resembles your hair. "
　　.鸟窝与头发
　　我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
　　“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
　　“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
　　“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
　　Bring me the winner
　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
　　-- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.
　　给我那个打赢的吧
　　-- 服务员，
　　这个龙虾只有一只爪。
　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
　　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt"s house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.
　　The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here"s a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."
　　"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"
　　"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.
　　"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".
　　迪克年龄七岁，他的妹妹凯瑟琳五岁。一天，妈妈把他们带到姨妈家去玩，自己就到大城市去买些新的衣服。
　　孩子们玩了个把小时，在四点半的时候，姨妈领着迪克走进了厨房。她交给迪克一块精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并对他说：“喏，迪克，给你刀子，把这块蛋糕一切为二，给你妹妹一块。不过，你得记住要做得像一个绅士那样。”
　　迪克问：“像一个绅士？绅士怎样做呢？”
　　他姨妈马上回答说：“绅士总是把大的一块让给别人的。”
　　迪克说了一声“噢”。他对此想了一会，然后，他把蛋糕拿给妹妹，并对她说：“凯瑟琳，你来把这块蛋糕一切为二吧。”
　　I"m Trying to Stop It
　　“I"m sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy"s tooth .”
　　“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
　　“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
　　“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
　　“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
　　“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
　　"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
　　"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
　　“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”
　　“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”
　　The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
　　"I"ll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.". hey Are Directly from America
　　Not long after an old Chinese women came back to china from her visit to her daughter in the Sates, she went to a city bank to deposit the U.S. dollars her daughter give her . At the bank counter ,the money was real.It mady out of patience.At last she couid not hold any more, uttering :“trust me, Sir, and trustthe money .They are real U.S. dollars. They.are directly from America. ”
　　汉译：
　　真美钞
　　一位中国老妇人到美国去看望女儿回来不久，到一家银行取存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真仔细的检查了每一张钞票看，是否有假。这种做法使老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，是从美国直接带来的。”
　　He Won
　　Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.Tommy: That"s too bad. How did that happen?
　　Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
　　他赢了
　　汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
　　约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
　　汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
　　约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
　　I Have His Ear in My Pocket
　　Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?""A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
　　"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
　　"I"d know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
　　他的耳朵在我衣兜里
　　伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
　　“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
　　“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
　　“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
　　A Good Boy
　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
　　"You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
　　"She is the one who sells the candy."
　　好孩子
　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
　　“她是个卖糖果的。”
　　Drunk
　　One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What"s the meaning
　　篇三：英语短笑话
　　Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
　　"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
　　"You"re a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
　　"She is the one who sells the candy."
　　好孩子
　　小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
　　“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
　　“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
　　“她是个卖糖果的。”
　　Nest and Hair
　　My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
　　"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
　　"I didn"t see the bird, ma" am, only the nest," replied the child.
　　"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
　　"Well, ma"am, it just resembles your hair. "
　　Notes:
　　(1) inform v.告诉
　　(2) nest n.窝；巢
　　(3) description n.描述
　　(4) encourage v.鼓励
　　(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
　　18.鸟窝与头发
　　我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
　　“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
　　“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
　　“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
　　I"ve Just Bitten My Tongue
　　"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
　　"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
　　"Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue! "
　　(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
　　(2) Cause I"ve just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
　　我刚咬破自己的舌头
　　“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
　　“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
　　“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
　　A Woman Who Fell
　　It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City"s Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
　　摔倒的女人
　　上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？”
　　英语笑话（一）
　　Q: What"s the difference between a monkey and a flea?
　　A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can"t have monkeys.
　　猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
　　Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
　　A: By treading on his corn?
　　如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
　　Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
　　A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
　　因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足
　　为奇的。你说呢？
　　Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
　　A: They make faces all day.
　　一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
　　Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
　　A: Keep him awake.
　　怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
　　英语笑话（二）
　　He is really somebody
　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
　　他真是一个大人物
　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
　　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
　　-- 墓地守墓人。
　　英语笑话（三）
　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
　　At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
　　它们是从美国直接带来的
　　一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
　　这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
　　英语笑话（四）my little dog can"t read
　　Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
　　Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
　　Mrs. Brown: It"s no use, my little dog can"t read.
　　我的狗不识字
　　布朗夫人：哦，
　　亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
　　史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
　　布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
　　英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
　　-- I"m sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.
　　给我那个打赢的吧
　　-- 服务员，
　　这个龙虾只有一只爪。
　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
　　-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
　　英语笑话（六）The mean man"s party.
　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"
　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You"re not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
　　吝啬鬼请客
　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
　　Two Birds
　　Teacher :Here are two birds ,one is swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
　　Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
　　Teacher: Please tell us.
　　Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrowis beside the swallow.
　　把你的心灵、精神和灵魂都投入到哪怕是最细微的行动当中，这就是成功的秘诀。
　　Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success。The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
　　"It"s all right," said a gentleman, "don"t be afraid. Don"t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don"t bite?"
　　"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
　　一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：?吠狗不咬人。?”
　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

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【简单的英语笑话带翻译】英语笑话最短的最简单的还要会读

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